The #1 Killer of Mindfulness - And 7 Strategies to Regain Control

By Bert Brown

Mindfulness is all about being in the moment. Paying attention to what is going on around you. Using your senses to feel the experience happening right then. What I often notice when I am out and about, however, is the silent killer of mindfulness.

I see this killer practically everywhere: on the streets, on public transportation, waiting in lines, at restaurants, during meetings, at school concerts/plays, during dates, in public bathrooms, and in front of the TV.

In Starbucks and other coffee shops there will be 4 or 5 of kids sitting around in a group, silent – all with their heads down ignoring each other because the killer is there with them.

Certainly I notice the killer in my own house as well: in the bathroom while brushing teeth, glowing in the dark before bed, and at work in tandem with the laptop.

Statistically speaking, there is a 56% chance that you are holding this killer of mindfulness right now in your very hand.

Yes, it is the mobile phone.

Reality Check

While you already realize the mobile phone is integrated into our everyday life, the statistics are quite amazing. Where do you find yourself in the following statistics?

iPhone owners unlock their devices an average of 80 times per day. This statistic came from Apple back in 2016. And that is over a 24 hour period. If one was getting 8 hours of sleep, then that would mean the average owner is unlocking their phone every 12 minutes while awake. A study from Android app Locket found the average user checked their phone 110 times per day. And venture capital firm Kleiner Perkins Caufield and Byers found the number closer to 150 times per day.
Ever feel fake phone vibrations? One study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that 89% of the participants experienced these phantom phone vibrations.
53% of millennials wake up at least once every night to check their phones. In this same survey by Qualtrics and Accel Partners, 79% of millennials put their phones right next to them when they sleep.
And 60% of them checked their phones even before they use the bathroom in the morning.
Flurry Analytics reported in one of their State of Mobile reports that the average US consumer spends 5 hours a day on mobile devices. Again, if one is getting 8 hours of sleep per night that is 31% of their day.
89% of mobile phone owners said they used their phones during their most recent social gathering.
And two more for you: this study conducted by Harris Interactive found that almost 1 in 10 US adults use their phone during sex (the statistic jumps to 20% for those adults between 18 and 34) and 12% say they use their phone in the shower. Really?

Attachment

Clearly, the mobile phone has become entwined in our lives, affects our behavior, and takes away from being in the moment.

Did you see yourself in any of those statistics? You may be surprised at just how much you use your phone.

Need proof on your usage? There are a number of apps you can install on your phone to track your own usage or that of your children (I happen to use OurPact for our kids). And while I haven’t used it myself, I have heard great things about the tracking app In the Moment.

Has a friend ever shared their phone with you to see a photo, text, or app? Did they actually give you the phone or just hold it in their hand for you to see?

And if they actually did hand over the phone, were they itching to get the phone back into their personal confines as quickly as possible? As if without the phone they had trouble breathing?

Now, in some cases this behavior creates the impression that the person can’t let you hold onto the phone because they are hiding something they don’t want you to see on the phone. Or with whom they might be communicating.

But the reality probably is that there just may be a physiological attachment to their phone.

Case Study

For a number of people, it’s not just the distraction of the phone, but the actual physical presence of the phone itself.

In one particular study written up in the Harvard Business Review, the results demonstrated a significant reduction in your cognitive capacity when your mobile phone is within reach – even if it is turned off.

This study was designed to measure participants’ cognitive capacity – the brain’s ability to hold and process data at any given time. This involved the participants to sit at a computer and take a series of tests. They were randomly instructed to place their mobile phones in 1 of 3 places – either:

On the desk face down
In their pocket or personal bag
Or, in another room

In each of the three locations, the phone was turned to silent mode.

The study found that the participants with the phone in another room performed significantly better than those with the phones on their desk. They slightly outperformed those with the phone in their pocket or personal bag.

The findings suggest the mere presence of one’s mobile phone reduces available cognitive capacity and impairs cognitive functioning. Even with the phones in silent mode and the participants felt they were giving their full attention to focus on the task at hand.

The researchers conducted several other experiments but all led to the same conclusion. When a person’s mobile phone is within sight or easy reach, their ability to focus and perform tasks are reduced because part of their brain is actively working to not pick up or use the phone.

How to Take Back Control

There are a number of steps I have taken to reduce my interactions on my mobile phone. However, none of these suggestions will make any sort of difference in your life unless you sincerely want to regain better control of your awareness.

Just like any change, the very first step is identifying and admitting there is an issue you want to correct or improve.

After reading through all the statistics and discovering the increasing number of studies on how the mobile phone affects the brain, it’s no wonder there has been an increase in the search for greater mindfulness.

Because the mobile phone can affect even the unconscious mind, without gaining control of how you use your mobile phone, your journey towards greater mindfulness will be much more challenging.

7 Strategies to Regain Control

Here’s a list of 7 strategies I use to help me live in the moment more. These did not all come at once. They were gradually added over time. Some are easier than others, but taken all together this list has made a tremendous difference in my life.

Turn off all notifications

This is an easy one to do and the first step I took. Not only have I turned off all text, email, social media, calendar notifications on my phone, I have also done the same on my computer.
Only check email during set periods of time

Email can be an endless time suck that takes control of your schedule and mind. In this day and age it is always going to be there. On my work days I set aside 2 or 3 times during the day specifically for email. In my mind I’m not constantly thinking about what messages could be in the inbox. Since I know that I have time dedicated to this particular task, I can focus on what’s at hand and be more in the moment.
Don’t check work email on weekends

I thought this was going to be a hard one, but after a couple weekends it was very liberating. There has never been an “emergency” that couldn’t wait until Monday. While I may check personal email during the weekend if I’m expecting a response to an activity, the elimination of work email frees the mind to focus one’s personal and family time.
Turn it off or put in airplane mode during meetings & meals

This particular strategy was important for me to be more present during family meals. And it needs to be off or silenced, vibration mode still takes the mind elsewhere. If you are checking your phone during a meeting and not giving the meeting your full attention, you might as well skip the meeting because your mind is somewhere elsewhere anyway.
Put phone in airplane mode 1 hour before bedtime

In order to set your body up for a good night’s sleep, the mind has to settle down. I’m still working on this one because I can pinpoint the reason for the nights I have trouble falling asleep to my activity on the phone before bed. When going through news feeds, exploring travel locations, or watching YouTube videos, the mind is activated instead of settling down. Furthermore, the blue light from the screen inhibits the production of melatonin which can delay sleep as well.
Keep the phone out of bedroom

Eliminate the impulse to check the phone by removing it from your sleeping area (especially those 20% in the 18-34 demographic). Buy an alarm instead of using your phone.
Don’t always carry it on your person

The mobile phone is an incredible tool. However, tools should be used in a controlled fashion by people. The tools should not control the person. Exert your control on the phone by not always carrying it with you.

“Advanced” Strategy 🙂

Another strategy I have used is a total phone detox. I have gone without the phone for days at a time during various retreats. During our annual boys adventure when we are in the mountains (and mostly without an internet signal), my boys aren’t allowed on their tablets or phones.

What this does is makes the body acclimatized to not always being connected to your phone. It eliminates those subconscious impulses that are causing you to reach for the phone and have it in your hand or pocket.

You replace your fear of missing out by doing the activity at hand instead of your mind being somewhere else.

And believe it or not, what you learn (or recall) is what life was like during the time thousands of years before the mobile phone came into our lives.

The detox experience can carry over into your “normal” life. It makes it easier to turn the phone off during meals or meetings. It makes is easier to not feel you have to check the current news cycle or latest social media post.

Try it sometime.

Pushback

There are a number of excuses or reasons people come up with on why they can’t possibly do some of these strategies because there could be emergencies or situations that have to be solved immediately.

Certainly if your job is to respond to emergencies or life or death situations, then during the time you are working your job the phone is your tool to do your job. However when your job time is complete and you are on your personal time, then certainly some of these strategies could be employed.

If there is an emergency in my life, then I request my family, friends, or team to call me. And leave a voicemail, if I don’t pick up.

Awareness and the Mind

Hindu Priest Dandapani explains the difference between awareness and the mind.

The mind is the physical areas of your brain – the area for your feelings, the area to control your movements, the area that controls your bodily systems.

Awareness is what is moving around to the different areas of your mind like a ball of pure white light.

Mindfulness is awareness of the present moment as a product of concentration. One needs to be able to control their awareness.

If a big part of your awareness (conscious or subconscious) is shining that light on your phone, it will be very difficult to fully bring your awareness to the present moment.

If you haven’t tried these strategies to give you control over your phone instead of your phone controlling you or if you need to revisit some of the strategies again, I highly encourage you to try. They have greatly helped me on my path to greater mindfulness.

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